“NO! NOOOOOOO! GET AWAY FROM ME!” Porky cried, looking at a roach crawling up the walls. Darkhowl walked in and hardly stepped on the roach. “NO! GET THAT THING AWAY!” Porky continued to cry. Darkhowl pulled out a machine from under the bed. A large black hole opened as he opened the machine. The roach’s body was sucked in, and then Darkhowl proceeded to close the machine and put it back under Porky’s bed.
The roach never technically happened.
Porky sighed as his iPhone lock screen came up with a Sparky wallpaper. Sparky was winking and there was a heart next to him. Darkhowl chuckled at the picture. A Kids Bop cover of “Let it Go” started playing. Porky looked at his newest text.
“WAFFLES WAFFLES WAFFLES WAFFLES WAFFLES WAFFLES
REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG
Now you know how I feel you retarded watermelon”
Porky laughed and replied “RIDLEY X SAMUS ART”, giving him a link to Ridley x Zero Suit Samus art. He sat back down on his bed. Darkhowl looked at Porky’s iPhone. “What the phazon is a ‘Zenda’? Also, why is Sparky blushing and winking in your wallpaper?” Porky got up. “Well, it reminds me someone out there loves me.”
Darkhowl sighed. “That’s… Interesting…? Either way, it practically confirms Sporky.”
He walked out of the room. Porky sighed.
“Sporky? Holy phazon, what!? T-That’s a thing now…?”
Chapter 1: Drago Days Edit
Fernstar cried listening to some Pokémon music. “I’m… Not… A… True… SNIVY!” he screamed. He roared shortly after, which was a roar identical to that of a baby Drago’s that replaced his normal Snivy cry. After hearing that roar, he only cried more. “I’m not even a Snivy! My destiny, my role, my personality, my hobbies, my own personality… Have all been changed by that sick and twisted creature…” The Mecha-Drago stepped out, and he saw the small Snivy cry.
“Umm, Fernstar, you know Tails and Rayman are chimeras now, right…?” He asked. Fernstar turned around and opened his eyes, swelling with tears. The Mecha-Drago then noticed he had one aqua blue eye and one brown eye. Vines extended from his scaly crests, which he put near his eyes to absorb the tears. “Is EVERYONE a chimera now!?” he complained. “No… NO… I will get my revenge on that motherphazoner.” The Mecha-Drago’s eyes widened. “Fernstar, don’t… Don’t follow Vec’s footsteps…” Fernstar whipped the Drago with his vines. “NOW, VEC HAD A GOOD IDEA, BUT IT WAS DIRECTED TOWARDS THE WRONG PEOPLE… IT’S REVENGE, AND I WANT NOTHING BUT REVENGE ON PORKY!” The Mecha-Drago sighed. “You weren’t even here when that happened…” Deep inside, the Mecha-Drago felt like he destroyed someone with the Galactic Generator after those events and that it had wings, but he just couldn’t remember it. Fernstar sighed. “I’m in a terrible mood right now…” The Mecha-Drago frowned. He ran to the store. Fernstar continued to cry.
“WHY… WHAT TWISTED AND SICK MIND WOULD DO THIS TO ME?! Well, it was always my destiny to eventually… SHOW MYSELF to everyone and become a friend. A Snivy. A Snivy who would proudly defend others. A Snivy. A Snivy who would be more than the average Pokémon… But now I’m a chimera. A chimera of a Drago and a Snivy… Not just a normal Snivy who would just try to be as amazing as his chimera friends… I wanted to be with chimeras, not BE one of them…” He sighed. He looked at his once-leafy hands, which were now scaly claws for fighting. “I don’t want to be a fighter like Leo and the other cruel chimeras! I want to be a Snivy again! Nothing more! I don’t care about the sharp teeth, the sharp claws, the ‘cooler’ eyes, and the overall better sense of originality! I just don’t care!” Fernstar sobbed and looked through a website called “PORKCHIMERALABARCHIVES.idontcare”, where he looked through the names of the newly-added chimeras, finding out what would be their new names. “Dismayman, Scales the Kistune, and…” he slowly read.
“The Snivy of Hatred and Death.”
His heart pounded as he read the tiny text under it.
Fernstar cried harder, until the Mecha-Drago came back with some bags. He pulled out some ice cream. “Hey! Cheer up! Look what I got!” Fernstar smiled with his sharp Drago teeth. He pulled out a spoon. “Also, I bought this as a joke.” The Mecha-Drago pulled out a watermelon shaped like Porky in a transparent bag labeled “PORKFARMS.INC”. Fernstar laughed happily, ignoring the fact his Drago fangs were showing. He opened the lid of the box of ice cream, stuck his spoon in, and ate it, smiling. The Mecha-Drago pulled out a GBA and a game titled “Mother 3”. Fernstar peered over at the GBA’s screen, still eating ice cream. “Mecha-Drago, there is a fire in Sunshine Forest.” He read out loud. The Drago grunted and ignored him.
Chapter 2: Claus House Edit
Claus looked at his computer screen.
“So, she blocked me because I didn’t like The Commander, eh? How mature of her.” He grunted. He was on deviantART again, under the alias “MasterGharial”. He chose the crocodile-related username because he was obsessed with crocodiles when he made the account, which was in the December of 2012, which he called “the worst year of his life”. Nothing particularly was terrible about it, but Claus and Rayman were incredibly stupid in that year. Claus obsessed over Vecoline and crocodiles while Rayman obsessed over Sonic. Back then, Claus was under the alias “Count Desertstone” and Rayman was under the alias “Evilrainbow”. Now, they were “Master Masked Man” and “RayClaus”. Claus decided to go on deviantART. “Oh, the Crystal person deactivated for the second time in the same few weeks?” Claus analyzed, reading. “Oh, and NOW this squeaksystem person pays attention to me. Phazoning brilliant. Now her white knights are going after me. Again, phazoning brilliant.” Claus groaned. “…Did someone seriously make a ‘WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?’ thing of me…?!” Claus suddenly noticed he his space bar wasn’t working from time to time. He looked down, and saw that a slightly crushed popcorn kernel was stuck under it. He sighed. He got another keyboard, and on that one, the space bar didn’t even work at all as if it were broken. He unplugged the replacement keyboard and continued using the built-in keyboard on his laptop, even though the space bar was annoying. His mask was off so he could use his headphones, which had blue lights on them. He thought they looked neat, but they were horrible at keeping in any sound, but since the door was closed, it wasn’t that easy for others to hear it unless the sound was loud enough, which, well, it usually was. Suddenly, there was knocking. Claus thought someone was knocking on the door at first, but it sounded closer. He walked over to his wonder and opened the Pokémon-themed curtains (which he tries to hide).
Standing right across the glass was Fernstar. Ice cream was around his lips as if he ate some lately. He slowly wanted in. He continued knocking. Claus opened one of the windows, and Fernstar slowly walked in. “Well… Hey Claus… A lot of stuff has been going on lately. I mean, things are great with the Mecha-Drago, but I feel like there’s something missing from this whole thing.” He explained. Claus’ YouTube playlist shifted to It Is Finished. “…Porky really needs to phazoning GO.” He screeched. Claus groaned. “Porky is like Pork Network. It will never die and you will never block it.” Fernstar sighed. “Well, I’m just a Snivy, I can’t take down anything. Yes, I’m a chimera, yet deep inside I’m still that Snivy who runs away from everything. It’s hard to think I was transformed into this… THING... Just two weeks ago.” Fernstar scraped his tiny claws against the wall. The playlist then shifted to Metroid/Mother 3 Remix Mashup: Porky's Quadraxis. Fernstar stared at a Vecoline plush on Claus’ shelf, and suddenly, Ridley flew in. “Fern, what the phazon are you doing here? Go back to the Drago Pit. Claus, are you downloading stuff?” He growled. “I’m trying to get some help and information. Do you guys know the quickest way to get to Porky’s house? I was knocked out when I was in that mech and brought to the Chimera Lab.” Claus nodded and put on the mask he kept on his table.
“Agh, Claus, you need to wear that thing more often. You’ll never know who will be in Skylands. There are still some people who call you ‘Portal Master Masked Man’ and don’t know your identity and they would phazoning FREAK OUT if they found out it was you, so yeah.”
Claus sighed. “Don’t remind me of the Pigmask Army days.” Ridley smiled. “I guess we shouldn’t remind him of the Tazmily days either.” Claus looked at Ridley madly. “No Tazmily, no Pigmasks, and I guess no SSB4 Training Camp?” Ridley asked. Claus sighed. “The camp is fine, the other two are terrible to mention.” Ridley chuckled. “PIGMASKS IN TAZMILY, PIGMASKS IN TAZMILY, PIGMASKS IN TAZMILY, LA LA L-“ Claus put his hand around Ridley’s snout, avoiding him from talking. “Don’t mention such things EVER again.” Ridley nodded and Claus let go of his snout. Ridley remembered the book in his hand. “Oh, yeah, I found the Ultimate Chimera’s diary! It appears he wakes up in the middle of the night to eat Hershy’s Bars, he collects Pokémon cards which he hides in the basement, he trades them with some ‘Almost-Mecha Lion’ guy who visits the basement at night or something, and he has some sort of interspecies crush on Ember.” Claus took the book out of Ridley’s scaly claws. He flipped through the pages and threw it on the floor.
“Phazon, you’re right”.
Chapter 3: The River-Dwelling Serpent Edit
During a long discussion about the UC’s diary, Fernstar walked out. He sighed, only to realize he felt something stranger than before. He looked around.
It was raining, and there was tons of thunder.
Because he didn’t have his leaves anymore to absorb the moisture, he felt raindrops fall down and between his scales. He couldn’t find his way home. “I think I went east! The Drago Pit is south from Claus’ shelter! I’M PHAZONING LOST!” He looked around. There was nothing but puddles, rain, darkness, thunder, and clouds. There were no houses in sight. All around him were miles and miles of concrete, like an incredibly wide road. “CLAUS! RIDLEY! MECHA-DRAGO! ARE ANY OF YOU HERE?!” he screamed as loudly as he can, but the thunder was way louder, and he couldn’t even hear himself. He sighed as tears came out violently. Suddenly, a figure was visible.
“Oh, you are lost! The poor little Snivy chimera is lost! Boo hoo, I’m crying so hard!” The voice started coughing and wheezing. “I bet you weren’t expecting to find me, of all people here! Well, you have wandered into the middle of nowhere, where there was never any light!” Fernstar looked up. Two red eye-like lights were in the distance. He ran towards them. “I bet you were looking for me all of this time. I made you the monster you are, Dragonova!” Fernstar’s expression went from fear to anger. “MY! NAME! IS! FERNSTAR!!” he screamed. The voice continued coughing and wheezing.
“Fernstar? That monster’s name is Fernstar? That almost sounds like a Snivy or animal’s name! But whatever this ‘Fernstar’ is, he is now my chimera. He will do whatever I say. He is my double. He doesn’t know who anyone is! All emotions must be eliminated by Dragonova!”
Fernstar’s eyes widened, as if he realized something. “I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!” he screamed. Vines extended from the scaly crests on his back. “REVEAL YOUSELF, PORKY MINCH! REVEAL YOURSELF TO ME!” The voice laughed, followed by even more coughs and wheezes. “Aha, clever little chimera…” The lights shined brighter, and the figure grew robotic legs, revealing Porky Minch. “You will meet your end, chimera. Face it, Dragonova, you’re a chimera. I may reanimate your corpse to become a true chimera... Nah., you’re a failed experiment. You should’ve thanked me. You’re not a boring Snivy anymore, you’re a cool chimera!” Porky shouted. Fernstar attacked Porky with his vines. Porky cut the vines before they could do any damage. Fernstar gasped. Porky pinned the small chimera down with one of his robotic legs.
“Now, let me fill you in on something. Your petty vines don’t affect me in the slightest. Do you really think a simple rope of plant material can harm my heavily-armored machine? You don’t know anything about me other than the fact that I help animals, ichneumon, Mobians, and Pokémon alike become cooler and more efficient at battling by equipping them with robotic parts, injecting the DNA of other, more powerful creatures like Dragos into them, and making them bow down to me so they can catch other creatures so I can turn them into chimeras as well.” Porky continued coughing. He put his sharpest robotic leg into the air, above Fernstar’s beating heart.
“Time to finish this for good, little chimera.”
Suddenly, two yellow eyes with orange pupils glowed in a puddle. A large serpent, about the size of Porky, swiftly jumped out of the water snout-first, right in between Porky and Fernstar. He bit off two of the legs on Porky’s mech; the one that he used to hold down Fernstar, and the one held in the air. The sea serpent wore a top hat as water fell off of the top.
“I am Riverik! Former guardian of Prawn and forbidden monster of nowhere! Nobody is allowed here! I am the serpent of thunder and rain!”
Loud thunder was heard in the distance and the rain became heavier. He growled and hit Porky’s mech hard. He threw the mech north, and the mech slid against the ground due to the puddles and rain. Riverik jumped into a puddle and came out of another one right next to Porky like two portals, and brutally bit the mech. Sparks flew out as he bit off the front. It was even more damage than Blackmoon caused, way back 3 months ago, when Porky was in 2012 using the Crystal of Time. Fernstar watched, horrified.
Was he getting his revenge in a way…?
Suddenly, the mech exploded. Fernstar flew back a few feet from the impact, and he lost his hearing for a few seconds. Riverik sat there with a few scars, still going strong. Porky slowly came up in a small capsule, before crashing to the ground. Riverik growled and moved the broken capsule on top of a puddle. Riverik smiled as he jumped into another puddle, only to come out of the puddle under the capsule like a torpedo, breaking it into tiny pieces. Riverik caught Porky in his webbed claws. Fernstar was amazed. Usually, Porky looked large and intimidating, but now he was reduced to nothing. He was worthless without technology.
Riverik growled. His eyes flashed to a bright blue color and went back to being normal.
“Wh-what about my Skylanders back home…?” Porky asked Riverik as if he told him something.
Riverik’s eyes became blue, glowing, before going back to orange.
“How will anyone know about you doing this to the one and only Porky Minch, you useless reptile?!” Porky asked madly.
The serpent’s eyes glowed blue again.
“That worthless Snivy?!”
“At least I feel remorse for what I’m doing, unlike what YOU did. This is the best way to go. I am being nicer than what I would do to you if possible. You should be stuck in a tiny capsule for all eternity, not able to die. You, Porky… You escaped from a capsule, which was the ultimate punishment for what you did. Your ‘Skylanders’ were slaves. That’s right, Porky, SLAVES. You brainwashed one of them to become your slave, turned another one of them into a cruel chimera, and the one that was the least brutal of them all was an Umbreon who was already somewhat cruel, but you persuaded him into becoming more spiteful. I do not want this to happen to ANYONE else. Do you get what I’m saying? You’re also downright obsessed with killing Claus. You could have embraced the fact you had Skylanders and at one point a small robot chimera for company, but instead you just used them as tools to attack Claus. Why not try to have fun or at least do something other than attempt to murder someone for once?! You stole the Galactic Generator, something that should stay in the hands of those who know what’s right instead of those who are whiny and are like ‘SONIC’S EYES ARE GREEN, LET’S THROW THE FIRST GAME WITH SONIC’S GREEN EYES INTO THE GALACTIC GENERATOR! I AM ANNOYED BY THIS BEE, SO I’LL THROW IT INTO THE GALACTIC GENERATOR! THIS GUY DOESN’T HAVE MY OPINIONS, MIGHT AS WELL SCRAP HIM FROM THE TIMELINE’! You got the Galactic Generator just to get your childish ‘revenge’ on those you disliked. And here you are, now, only here to turn a Snivy you ruined the life of into one of your slaves by reanimating its corpse.
You truly disgust me.”
Riverik opened his mouth and let out a beam of lightning, fatally wounding Porky.
Fernstar walked up and Riverik put the dying Porky on the ground. The rain started to ease.
Chapter 4: Memory of Life Edit
Porky let out his final breath.
Fernstar looked up at Riverik, who was crying.
“Never tell anyone about this.
Don’t even tell Claus.
Don’t tell Noctisark or Darkhowl.
Don’t tell ANYONE.
If you do…
…I might as well let you have the same fate as Porky.”
Fernstar nodded. Riverik burst into tears. “It is finished. I have finally gotten what I have been seeking for my entire life. Something to do, something to prove I’m a good fighter… No, fighting isn’t anything… Revenge is what got the best of Vecoline… Well, here’s what happened to me. I was a guardian Sea Serpent who protected the sea serpent of the moon, Prawn. However, that all changed, when one day Porky destroyed one of Prawn’s prized pearls and put a note saying ‘RIVERIK WUZ HERE’ on the remains, and I was exiled. I found this wasteland of 1,000 miles on Dragon Island, so far away from civilization. I had control of rain and thunder, so I constantly made it rain and added thunder so anyone who wandered into this place would know it’s trouble and leave. I also learned I have the power to travel through puddles as if they were portals, and because of the many puddles, I did that for entertainment! I also practiced my fighting skills and came up with new moves on the bugs that flew here! I made the Nowhereius Butterfly go extinct! Despite the fun I had, I was still tormented by the very thought of what had happened to me. I just felt like my life was changed completely to nothing just because of a note from that person. So, for 12 years, out of anger, I kept my territory raining and thundering. Due to the fact I’m a sea serpent, a Maskian Serpent to be exact, I loved this. However, the only reason I kept it raining heavily for 12 years straight with no stop to bask in the sunlight is because of anger. Now that Porky is gone, I feel the need to go back to Prawn, but at the same time, I feel like it’s all done here, with Porky dead.”
Fernstar felt tears in the back of his eyes. It was finally finished.”No crying until the end… No… No…” Fernstar started crying intensely. Deep inside both Riverik and Fernstar, they both shared the same thought; after all they’ve been through, after everything Porky did to them and others, he was finally dead for real. Porky, in some way, was part of their daily lives, and he was removed. They felt as if this wasn’t the right way to go. But, no matter what, Porky was dead. It was final.
Fernstar stopped crying and looked up at the tall sea serpent. “So, it appears you’ve been doing nothing but hiding yourself from the world since you stopped protecting Prawn. But what you have just did feels wonderful and right. You saved my life.” Riverik nodded his head and stopped crying. The rain that Riverik controlled suddenly stopped. The loud noises of thunder became silent. Riverik spread the webs in between his fingers wide, and the clouds became brighter and smaller. The sky became clearer.
For the first time in 12 years, there was sunlight in Riverik’s land.
Chapter 5: Return to the Drago Pit Edit
Riverik moved the clouds so they became slightly dark, and there was gentle rain surrounding Fernstar and Riverik. The clouds became darker, and the rain became heavy. There was a circle where there were no clouds or rain, and that’s where Riverik and Fernstar waited. Riverik destroyed a line of clouds, making a visible pathway of sunlight. “Go. Walk under the sunrays of hope. It leads back to Claus’ house, where you can find your way back to the Drago Pit.” Fernstar smiled, and looked back at Riverik. “You know, I get the feeling I’ll be seeing you again.”
Fernstar started running happily under the sunlight. It felt so fresh. For the past hour or so, he had been damp with rain, and now he was joyfully running under sunshine. As he ran, the clouds behind him disappeared, as if he made the clouds and rain around him go away. After a few minutes, he saw the concrete collide with the grass. He looked behind him. It seemed as if Riverik’s territory seemed more “alive”. It had gone from a rainy place only consisting of one serpent hidden inside invisible rooms inside puddles to a more vibrant, colorful area. He smiled, and continued running. He ran past Claus’ large house, and caught a glimpse of Drago trying to beat the Ultimate Chimera’s high score on Tetris again. Both of them were smiling, unlike before, where the UC and Drago would be screaming at each other. It’s as if both of them were having fun now. He stopped running for a second, and looked at Porky’s house falling down in the distance. He started running again. He ran past the grassy pastures surrounding Claus’ house to the rocky grounds of a large grocery store and Porkfarms.inc building. He finally found himself in the desert-like area of the Drago Pit. The Mecha-Drago smiled as Fernstar appeared below him.
“Whoa! You’ve been gone for a long time. What took you so long?”
Fernstar smiled a bit. “Oh, I found myself stuck in a hole. A DEEP hole.” The Mecha-Drago laughed, as “deep” reminded him of Rayman, a good friend of his. “I eventually found a way out.” Fernstar told him. “That’s wonderful! Hey, did you hear the news?” The Mecha-Drago asked. Fernstar shook his head. “It has been thought that Porky returned to the Nowhere Islands. Darkhowl is stuck in a lab, as scientists are apparently trying to de-chimerize him…? Yeah, I don’t get it either. They took Noctisark’s gear away, destroyed it completely, and arrested him. Also, look!” The Mecha-Drago took out the Galactic Generator. “I got back the Galactic Generator! The Skylanders completely destroyed Porky’s house. Everything in life seems better now.” Fernstar smiled. With Porky gone, it felt like there was a nice fresh start. “Hey, there’s this cool new game I got!” The Mecha-Drago announced. “Want to watch me play it?” he asked, grabbing his DS. Fernstar nodded, and ran next to the Mecha-Drago, staring at the screen.
Claus was having another nightmare. In this one, Porky stood in front of him. “I’M DEAD! I DIDN’T RETURN TO THE NOWHERE ISLANDS, I’M PHAZONING DEAD!” he screamed. Claus was taped to a chair.
“I WAS KILLED BY A SEA SERPENT NAMED RIVERIK WHO USED TO BE A GUARDIAN OF PRAWN! DON’T LISTEN TO THE NEWS!”
Claus felt as if there was something realistic about this, as if Porky really did die due to a sea serpent who used to be a guardian of Prawn. He knew it was a dream because he had grown to the point he knew what a dream was and what wasn’t, due to the fact he remembers each and every one of his dreams, no matter how obscure.
Claus started to wake up.
It was the middle of the night. Everyone was still awake. Claus ran downstairs, and sat next to the UC and Drago, who were happily playing Tetris Vs on their Gameboys. “Hey guys, I had this weird dream. Apparently, Porky died due to a sea serpent or something and didn’t go back to the Nowhere Islands.” There was a short silence, and suddenly Ridley laughed. “Oh, Claus, you and your fantasies of Porky dying.” He continued to laugh. “But that was seriously my dream!” Claus complained. He walked outside, and sat on the bench. He looked up into the sky. He looked into the newspaper on the bench.
“SPARKY ADMITS LOVE FOR PORKY AND CRIES WHEN BODY IS FOUND”
Claus gasped and dropped the newspaper.
“Porky IS dead!”